Setting: A chilly winter's night. Person1 and I are strolling in the garden, right after dinner.
Person1: You're totally spoilt aren't you?! You should try to be a "good girl".
Me : Yea right. Whatever. Is it a crime, to have fun, to be a little crazy sometimes? If its one thing I've learnt, its that craziness is key to creativity, to liberation.
Person1 (Trapped, and knowing not what to say) :
....That all said and done, there must be a little discipline in your life.
Me: Wrong. Instead, you should have your own set of dynamic philosophies. These are philosophies you build on, based on your experiences.You keep experimenting with them, and if a particular philosophy fails, you chuck it, or modify it according to your reason.
Silence. I can feel the wind caressing my face, and a person2 somewhere close by, watching us. I'm guessing person2 is interested in the way the conversation is going, though when I look up at her, she gives me an expression that suggests otherwise.
I try to push Person1 to discuss this a little more.
Me: Well, I'm always going to be naughty, the 'bad girl'.
Pause.
I wait for person1 to say something. He doesn't.
Me: ...But I'm also going to become the world's best pilot, and then the world's best astronaut.
I dream these things happening, and I'm caught in my own trance.
Person1 looks back at me and chuckles to himself, as if he knows where this is headed.
Me:...I'm also going to be the world's best dancer. And then ,by the age of 33, the world's most well-known scientist.
The situation is becoming comical. In fact, Person1 is now laughing.
I see that there is no logic in what I'm saying, but something spurs me to keep going. I rant on for another 5 minutes, on several professions that fascinate me, on professions I'm going to be the best in.
*
That day, I walked up to my room feeling happy. I couldn't understand why though. What I'd spoken earlier made no realistic sense.
Flash forward to November 4:
I have this "moment of defeat". I feel like a loser. For some unfathomable reason, those memories come back to me right then.
I try to make sense of why I feel much lighter.
*
Now I figure!
That conversation was about having as many experiences as I could have. It was about each experience leaving behind a thought - a thought, that was my own mix of Brompton's cocktail*.
I do not suggest this as an analogy to 'gaining knowledge'. That's something only the 'collective consciousness' can understand.
It is rather, about 'gaining wisdom'. And that's what gave me the kicks back then.
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*Cancer patients are sometimes given a concoction called Brompton's Cocktail which consists of morphine, cocaine, vodka, and some flavored syrup.The morphine kills pain while the cocaine helps them to stay awake. The vodka and cherry syrup serve no medical purpose but are included because many people have silly prejudices about the use of these drugs and they feel better about it if they can think of themselves as having an alcoholic drink, rather than the dreaded morphine or cocaine.(source: WikiAnswers)
Person1: You're totally spoilt aren't you?! You should try to be a "good girl".
Me : Yea right. Whatever. Is it a crime, to have fun, to be a little crazy sometimes? If its one thing I've learnt, its that craziness is key to creativity, to liberation.
Person1 (Trapped, and knowing not what to say) :
....That all said and done, there must be a little discipline in your life.
Me: Wrong. Instead, you should have your own set of dynamic philosophies. These are philosophies you build on, based on your experiences.You keep experimenting with them, and if a particular philosophy fails, you chuck it, or modify it according to your reason.
Silence. I can feel the wind caressing my face, and a person2 somewhere close by, watching us. I'm guessing person2 is interested in the way the conversation is going, though when I look up at her, she gives me an expression that suggests otherwise.
I try to push Person1 to discuss this a little more.
Me: Well, I'm always going to be naughty, the 'bad girl'.
Pause.
I wait for person1 to say something. He doesn't.
Me: ...But I'm also going to become the world's best pilot, and then the world's best astronaut.
I dream these things happening, and I'm caught in my own trance.
Person1 looks back at me and chuckles to himself, as if he knows where this is headed.
Me:...I'm also going to be the world's best dancer. And then ,by the age of 33, the world's most well-known scientist.
The situation is becoming comical. In fact, Person1 is now laughing.
I see that there is no logic in what I'm saying, but something spurs me to keep going. I rant on for another 5 minutes, on several professions that fascinate me, on professions I'm going to be the best in.
*
That day, I walked up to my room feeling happy. I couldn't understand why though. What I'd spoken earlier made no realistic sense.
Flash forward to November 4:
I have this "moment of defeat". I feel like a loser. For some unfathomable reason, those memories come back to me right then.
I try to make sense of why I feel much lighter.
*
Now I figure!
That conversation was about having as many experiences as I could have. It was about each experience leaving behind a thought - a thought, that was my own mix of Brompton's cocktail*.
I do not suggest this as an analogy to 'gaining knowledge'. That's something only the 'collective consciousness' can understand.
It is rather, about 'gaining wisdom'. And that's what gave me the kicks back then.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
*Cancer patients are sometimes given a concoction called Brompton's Cocktail which consists of morphine, cocaine, vodka, and some flavored syrup.The morphine kills pain while the cocaine helps them to stay awake. The vodka and cherry syrup serve no medical purpose but are included because many people have silly prejudices about the use of these drugs and they feel better about it if they can think of themselves as having an alcoholic drink, rather than the dreaded morphine or cocaine.(source: WikiAnswers)
Comments
Stumbled across your blog... Your posts are really nice... Keep it up.. and write more often..
All the best for everything :)
SP
Thank u for those comments! Will attempt to write more frequently in the future..:)
I read some of ur blog posts. They were awesome!
Hahaha! Person1 incidentally, happens to be much wiser than I am. He gave the same chuckle, when he read this post, that he had given me back then - as if he knew this was coming :)
Thank you for dropping by :)