The following are largely unedited clippings of entries from my diary. Some reflect honest observations, while some provide a sense of philosophical amusement. Some others still, render a rather childish view of the world. But buried within these various lines is an earnest attempt at understanding life, man, and me.
Undated:
Every relationship in this world can be reduced to that of a mother and child-every expression of love can be escalated to the same effect.
Undated:
I have a certain respect for non-believers-for one, they have tasted the ecstasy of independence-for another, they are self-sustained.
Undated:
I know what Nirvana must feel like - I tell you, just surround yourself with children.
Undated:
A samurai can only be passionate about being passionately in love.
Undated:
The balance factor-the zen way, in every moment.
Undated:
The question is not, "Will it happen?" The question is, "what will happen, if it does not?" What of me then?
Undated: Adhaa’s target for 2011:
To actually look at someone else through the eyes of poetry and music.
April 11th, 2010
Spritual Atheism, Humanitarianism, and Buddhism - I wonder if I could find the one unifying idea between them?
June 19th, 2010
I need to shift my paradigm of thinking...I need to create a talisman for myself.
Undated:
..But today I learnt that humanity speaks through action, not words.
Undated:
How can you grab hold of that one thought that could change your life forever - that thought, that was never apparent before?
July 13th, 2010
I realized today that dreams and reality merge when you begin to notice a person’s style - his or her way of carrying him/herself.
Undated:
It is the dark shades of a man that impress.
August 23rd, 2010
Life is so much more different. So much more bland. It is only my perspectives that could throw some color to it.
Sept 17th, 2010
Oh no, you’re mistaken ‘God’. I’m not hurt when you say that losing lives is the way it should be. What hurts is that you say it so casually.
Sept 22nd, 2010
Perhaps changing someone else’s life anonymously, is the medicine for a troubled man’s soul.
Sept 24th, 2010
Today was one of those days when I was able to scan myself quickly enough to acknowledge the fact that I am imperfect. Do you know how much that hurts?
October 6th, 2010
God is just another person who found the way to break through the cycle of despair.
October 31st, 2010 - @ the library, listening to “Now We Are Free”
It is just as Dostoevsky describes it - Life isn’t a bed of roses, but there are heroes nonetheless. Heroes, who carry suffering perhaps, more than anyone else, and yet offer a beacon of hope to the rest of mankind.
December 1st, 2010 - @ the cigarette smoking area
Confessions:
1. I am scared of attaching myself too much to anyone.
7. There is a kind of liberation in suffering that nothing else could provide. It is associated with the arrogance and casualness with which I am willing to take the most extreme decisions.
8. I have evil thoughts. But I still love myself more than you. I love you too -I imagine you operate in the same way I do - you know, rejoicing in joy and sorrow? You’re just more consistent at it. That’s why you’re God.
December 31st, 2010 : 5 minutes to another year:
..Hey..I’m at my favorite spot. By the window, at Thatha’s office. It’s nice. The blast of bombs and crackers in the distance. Whistles. Laughter.Noise. Aah, people talking.
Weird year. Totally exhausting emotionally. I think I couldn’t have summed it up in any other way......... Aaah, more noise now. Sometimes I wish I could take part in the celebrations. But something stops me. What?
Undated:
Every relationship in this world can be reduced to that of a mother and child-every expression of love can be escalated to the same effect.
Undated:
I have a certain respect for non-believers-for one, they have tasted the ecstasy of independence-for another, they are self-sustained.
Undated:
I know what Nirvana must feel like - I tell you, just surround yourself with children.
Undated:
A samurai can only be passionate about being passionately in love.
Undated:
The balance factor-the zen way, in every moment.
Undated:
The question is not, "Will it happen?" The question is, "what will happen, if it does not?" What of me then?
Undated: Adhaa’s target for 2011:
To actually look at someone else through the eyes of poetry and music.
April 11th, 2010
Spritual Atheism, Humanitarianism, and Buddhism - I wonder if I could find the one unifying idea between them?
June 19th, 2010
I need to shift my paradigm of thinking...I need to create a talisman for myself.
Undated:
..But today I learnt that humanity speaks through action, not words.
Undated:
How can you grab hold of that one thought that could change your life forever - that thought, that was never apparent before?
July 13th, 2010
I realized today that dreams and reality merge when you begin to notice a person’s style - his or her way of carrying him/herself.
Undated:
It is the dark shades of a man that impress.
August 23rd, 2010
Life is so much more different. So much more bland. It is only my perspectives that could throw some color to it.
Sept 17th, 2010
Oh no, you’re mistaken ‘God’. I’m not hurt when you say that losing lives is the way it should be. What hurts is that you say it so casually.
Sept 22nd, 2010
Perhaps changing someone else’s life anonymously, is the medicine for a troubled man’s soul.
Sept 24th, 2010
Today was one of those days when I was able to scan myself quickly enough to acknowledge the fact that I am imperfect. Do you know how much that hurts?
October 6th, 2010
God is just another person who found the way to break through the cycle of despair.
October 31st, 2010 - @ the library, listening to “Now We Are Free”
It is just as Dostoevsky describes it - Life isn’t a bed of roses, but there are heroes nonetheless. Heroes, who carry suffering perhaps, more than anyone else, and yet offer a beacon of hope to the rest of mankind.
December 1st, 2010 - @ the cigarette smoking area
Confessions:
1. I am scared of attaching myself too much to anyone.
7. There is a kind of liberation in suffering that nothing else could provide. It is associated with the arrogance and casualness with which I am willing to take the most extreme decisions.
8. I have evil thoughts. But I still love myself more than you. I love you too -I imagine you operate in the same way I do - you know, rejoicing in joy and sorrow? You’re just more consistent at it. That’s why you’re God.
December 31st, 2010 : 5 minutes to another year:
..Hey..I’m at my favorite spot. By the window, at Thatha’s office. It’s nice. The blast of bombs and crackers in the distance. Whistles. Laughter.Noise. Aah, people talking.
Weird year. Totally exhausting emotionally. I think I couldn’t have summed it up in any other way......... Aaah, more noise now. Sometimes I wish I could take part in the celebrations. But something stops me. What?
Comments
Thank you so much! Married life? Pray what?;) Will send you a mail soon enough!
@Dibakar:
Welcome to my blog...You overwhelmed me with your comments! Thanks a ton:)
You're probably my most consistent reader (*Aish bows down and says thank you*). It's been a while since I got to check my blog or get back in touch, but my apologies. I hope I hear from you soon! :)